Sonia Herbert

Psychotherapy and Counselling

Controlling Angry Thoughts

Anger exists in the mind and is a direct result of your thoughts. An event does not make you angry, but your interpretation of the event and how you think and feel can lead to anger. Certain things can be done to make the feelings of anger more controllable and manageable.

Step 1- Admit you are angry. Recognising that you are angry is the first step in dealing with it. Some people find it difficult to admit they are angry perhaps because they view their feelings as inappropriate or not valid. These people may deny their feelings therefore choosing not to deal with them.

Step 2- Identify the source of the anger. Realising what is causing you to feel angry is important in dealing with the real problem. Often the real problem can be confused with other issues or other emotions.

Step 3 - Feeling angry?.....Why? Recognising the reason for your feelings of anger is an important step in dealing with the anger. After analysing the reasons, you will decide in your mind if the anger is reasonable or justifiable. If you decide the anger is unrealistic you can diffuse the feelings. If you decide the anger is realistic, you can better decide how to deal with your feelings.

Controlling Anger
There are techniques which can help you control your thoughts and in turn control your anger.

Imagery - Get rid of intense, angry feelings by letting your imagination diffuse some of the feelings. Allow yourself to imagine a calming, pleasant place you have been to or seen.  Imagery is a safer way for you to vent angry feelings.

Thought stopping - Do not allow the thoughts that are making you angry to continue. Shut down those thoughts by switching your concentration to something you find pleasant and enjoyable. By diverting your attention you help the anger to dissipate.

Change your expectations - People often get angry when their expectations are not met. Modifying your expectations can help you cope with anger. If you can afford more flexibility there is less chance for a situation to lead to anger.

Develop more understanding - Being aware of why a person behaves a certain way or why a person is saying something will help promote understanding. Try putting yourself in the other person's shoes and viewing a situation from their perspective.

Talk to someone – family and friends can be a good support network however, there maybe times where it would be good to talk to someone in confidence, who is unbiased and can listen to whatever it is that you need help with.

Call me on 07886 513448, it helps to talk through situations and find ways of managing your anger.
Try to be aware of what you are thinking when you get angry
Realise these thoughts will make you angry
Throw them away
Rise above the situation
Manage your anger!




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